Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
