Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize