flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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