so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
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