What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
Randomize
