Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
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