That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
Randomize
