Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
In other news, I just burned my penis
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
