Porn is love you can see.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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