the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize