so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
too bad you live with your parents still
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
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