I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
i just google imaged poop.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
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