He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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