she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
i need some magic done to my vagina
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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