thus making me awesome and them whores
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
