Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize
