You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
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