I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
