Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
There r osticjed everywhere
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
God I need to hump something, right now.
Randomize
