Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
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