i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Randomize