Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
