he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
