I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
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The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Let's get the cat blown out
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize