you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
