spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
We have started to decorate penises.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Randomize
