worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Randomize
