Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Randomize
