So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
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