Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Randomize
