Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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