I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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