This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
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New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
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Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Randomize