to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
