Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
