I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
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