What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
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