My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
Apparently you make a good broom.
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
