brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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