Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
My balls are so social today.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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