Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Randomize
