We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
