I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
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