Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize