I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
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