JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
Randomize