just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
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