Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
