Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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