Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Randomize
