This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Randomize
