His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
