is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Randomize