You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Randomize
