So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
