I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
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