Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
Jerry, you need to find god
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
