we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Randomize
