i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
