She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
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