I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
