Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
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