everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
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